People often know what they want but don’t know how to get it, or they don’t know what they want but they know something needs to change. HARRIETTE LUSCOMB explores how to create a clear destination and a pathway to get there.
1/ What does success look like to you?
Get super specific here. Think about how your life would be on a day-to-day basis, based on your definition of ‘success’. I guarantee that idea is completely different for each and everyone of us, so give yourself the opportunity to really flesh it out. Is it about having more challenge, or more free time? Is it about building significant relationships or having more positive emotions? If your answer to this question leans towards money, think about how much money you want and what that money could give you that you don’t already have.
2/ How important is this to you?
Sometimes we get stuck with an idea of what society tells us success looks like. We can harshly judge our life against it, but when it comes down to it, it doesn’t actually represent what we want. A Swedish study in 2020 of over 3,000 lottery winners found that most didn’t actually quit their jobs or spend their winnings on extravagant purchases. So when you think of what success looks, try and score yourself out of 10 in terms of how important it is to you. Anything less than a 5 and I’d suggest that there could be an opportunity to redefine what success really means to you. Or maybe you’re already in a fantastic place that doesn’t require much change at the moment, which is another great thing to acknowledge.
3/ Brainstorm the possible pathways to get you there.
Once you have your own personal idea of success defined and refined, start to brainstorm the pathways to get you there. Keep everything on the table to start off with and then start to consider obstacles you might need to address along the way, and which pathways are most realistic. And be honest with yourself. If your idea of success involves a radical lifestyle change and you want it done in a week, you may be setting yourself up for failure. Set yourself manageable goals considering everything else you’ve got on and realistic timeframes.
4/ What do you need from your environment, your relationships and yourself to make this happen?
We don’t have to take on change alone. What things about your environment could you change to help you? For example, if your success is about weight goals, removing unhealthy snacks from your cupboards could be a great environment change. Who can you tell about your ambitions to help support your progress? And what do you need to change about yourself to make them more likely? Often we tend to be our own harshest critics, so could you change the way you talk to yourself and shift your focus to the progress that you are making rather than berate yourself when things don’t feel like they are going to plan.
5/ How will you know when you’ve achieved success?
This is the one that most people forget and can leave us on a never ending treadmill of striving. Sometimes our goals have clear measures such as a pay rise or job promotion. If your idea about success was to feel happier, then track your mood with an app or a journal. If you wanted to learn a new hobby, what’s more important to you? Is it about the journey to get there or achieving a certain milestone? Whatever your idea of success looks like, there will be a way to measure it and make sure you give yourself time to take stock and be proud of yourself for embarking on this process.
6/ What happens next?
Once you’ve got to your review point, it’s a great time to check in with whether your idea of success has brought with it the kind of lifestyle and benefits that you thought it might. If it has, fantastic! You may well be ready to move into a maintenance phase. If it hasn’t, why not? What have you learnt and what has proven to be different? This process allows you to redefine what success looks like and then start to make the necessary adaptations.
Main picture by Per Lööv on Unsplash
References:
Long-Run Effects of Lottery Wealth on Psychological Well-Being, by Erik Lindqvist, Robert Östling, David Cesarini, The Review of Economic Studies, Volume 87, Issue 6, November 2020, Pages 2703–2726.
An Introduction to Coaching Skills: A Practical Guide, by Christian van Nieuwerburgh, (SAGE Publications Ltd, 2020), ISBN: 9781529736205.
